1:50:40 – 2:02:07

“Delia and I would like to thank all of you who came today to help us remember Caleb. I’m a preacher, but I’m not really going to preach today. But I am going to share about our wonderful son, Caleb.

This is the hardest thing we ever could have imagined going through. Caleb was perfectly happy and healthy. Sunday morning, he served in the church. He helped me set everything up – he had become so strong in the last year. He played piano and led worship with his mom. He watched his fantasy football team win, and his favorite team, the Lions, lose.

Then Monday he had a typical, great day. He had weightlifting and football practice in the afternoon and evening. He made dinner, chicken alfredo, with his mom. He joked and prayed with us and Evan and Anna. It was a perfectly normal day, and he was happy. So, so happy.

And then Tuesday morning, he just never woke up.

The truth is this – Caleb stood out from the moment he was born. When he was born in the hospital in Singapore, the only thing the nurses said to me, nurse after nurse, as they were bringing me up to see him, was that he was a giant baby. They couldn’t believe how big he was. He was 9 pounds and 5 ounces. A giant, white-skinned baby in the nursery in Glen Eagles in Singapore. He was truly outstanding.

And he never stopped standing out. Caleb was talking at 8 months old, and reading at 2 years old. Academics always came easy to him.

Sports were not quite as easy, but he worked and worked and worked until he was a very good athlete. I taught him to throw a spiral and run pass patterns in our living room in Singapore when he was 4 years old. When he was just 6 he would come to my flag football games, and everyone in the Singapore Flag Football Association got to know this incredible 6 year old who would cheer with all his might for his dad.

And when it came to music, he had such talent. I remember our church in Singapore had an outdoor Christmas concert when he was 3. Delia’s extended family performed a song, and Caleb decided to steal the show. He grabbed the mic and started dancing and dancing, in front of hundreds of people.

In the last few years, Caleb also learned to cook, wrote books, play the piano during worship.

I want to encourage everyone here today, from the youngest to the oldest, to live their lives to the fullest, for the glory of God. Caleb truly was amazing – everything he put his mind to, he excelled. And he glorified God in doing so. He lived for Jesus and always wanted to do what’s right.

I know this day is hard for so many of you. For our family, both here in the United States and those watching in Singapore. For Caleb’s 8th grade classmates. For Caleb’s teammates, both on the varsity football team this year and his basketball teammates of the last few years. For friends, and church friends from around the world. For his wonderful siblings, Evan and Anna.

I want to say – let Caleb’s example motivate you. Do all that you do for God’s glory. Live with a passion. Worship. Study. Play. With all your might. Be strong, and do it (Ezra 10:4). Live for the glory of God, follow Jesus. Love Him, and live to please Him. Live for Jesus.

I have just a couple more short stories I want to share before I stop.

I remember when Caleb was in 4th grade, the year we moved here to Michigan. He was on an Upward basketball team, and they were struggling. His team hadn’t won a game, and in week 7 we were playing the other team that hadn’t won. It was a chance to get a win. Well, I made a mistake and mixed up the timing of his game. When we got to the game, it was already in the last quarter. His team was down by 10 points. Caleb played that last quarter, and scored 10 points in 6 minutes. His team ended up losing by 1 – 21-20.

I felt terrible. It was my fault he wasn’t there, my fault he didn’t get that first win for his team. And he was crying and sobbing in the backseat – he was so competitive and wanted to win so badly. I told him, “Caleb, I’m sorry – I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I can’t believe I confused the time.”

And Caleb in the middle of his disappointment, and tears, told me, “It’s okay Dad, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

Even as he was crying and sobbing, he wanted to make sure I didn’t feel bad about it. He wanted to make sure I didn’t take the blame. He cared about me in the middle of his pain. “It’s okay, Dad.”

If there’s one story I’ve told about Caleb more than any other as I preach, it’s Caleb and the Vegetables. Caleb heard me tell this story so many times. He would smile, and roll his eyes – but he liked this story.

You see, when Caleb was 2 he had one passion in life. Food. Caleb loooooved to eat. He never lost this passion. And at 2 years old, he would toddle around the house, saying, “I eat chicken.” “I eat ice cream.” “I eat cookies.”

But he had one thing he hated, one trial in his life. Vegetables. He hated vegetables. Every time we gave him veggies, he would cry out, “Daddy, no! Daddy no! I eat chicken! I eat cookies! Noooo vegetables!”

And as a good father, who wanted my son to be happy, I could have taken those vegetables away. I could have taken away this thing that was bothering him. But I knew those vegetables would make him strong – healthy eating would help him. I knew they were working something in him that 2 year old Caleb couldn’t see.

As a 30-year-old father, my wisdom and knowledge was greater than 2-year-old Caleb, and I could see what he couldn’t possibly see. So I made him eat the vegetables. And I think it’s like that with God. We walk through pain and say, “God, no! God, no! I can’t do it! Give me the easy things! Give me the cookies!” But God sometimes says, “If you just go through this, if you just eat these vegetables – it’s working something in you that will benefit you forever. It’s doing something in you that is of infinite value.”

And I think if we could somehow see what God has done in Caleb now – where Caleb is now – we would realize that these “vegetables” are in some way, some way we’ll never understand on this side of eternity – that these vegetables are somehow worth it.

I’m coming to a close.

But I want to let you know about my good night routine with Caleb. Since he was 4 years old, every night we would say the same thing to each other. We stole it from an episode of Veggietales. I would kiss his cheek and say, “I love you little mister.” Caleb would look back to me and say, “I love you big mister.” And it was awesome when he was 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 – but I wondered if it was funny as he grew.

When he turned 11, I asked him, “Do we need to stop this big mister little mister stuff and come up with a new routine?” He said, “Maybe” – but neither of us wanted to stop. When he was 12, I asked him, “Do we need to stop?” He said, “Maybe” – but then we couldn’t stop. When he turned 13, I asked him again – we knew it was silly but we couldn’t stop. It was a way we showed each other how we loved each other.

Still I would wonder – when will this have to stop? I can’t call him little mister when he’s 16 or 17, can I? But how are we ever going to stop? How can I stop tucking him in and calling him my little mister?

Monday night, the last night, Caleb was 13. He was big himself. He was strong – so, so strong. My 5’9”, football-playing, worship-leading, book-writing, honor roll student son, and I told him, “I love you little mister.” He looked up and said “I love you big mister.” And now, I realize – we never had to stop. We never had to stop our routine, up to Caleb’s last night. He’s always my little mister.

And it never had to stop. “I love you, little mister.” Final thing. I play softball here at Bethesda, in their church league. This summer, in July, in one of our games, I actually hit a double. I made it to second base. And my big strong son, with dozens of people around, shouted out loud, “That’s my dad! That’s my dad!” And I knew he was being funny, but I also knew he was really proud of me. And I smiled at him, and raised my hand to acknowledge him. He was proud of me. He was proud of me.

But today, I want to say to all of you here, “That’s my son! That’s my son! That’s my son!”

May we follow his example, live passionately for Jesus, and live to please the Heavenly Father as well.”